How to Create a Marriage Mission Statement
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In 1989, Stephen R. Covey wrote The 7 Habits of Highly Successful People and changed the way we think of our lives, ourselves, and our mission. In his second habit, Covey mentioned that individuals should create their own mission statement. These mission statements begin with the end in mind. Where do you want to be in the next twenty, thirty, forty, or fifty years?
I can see how this concept pertains to Biblical principles. Proverbs 29:18 tells us, “Where there is no vision, the people perish: but he that keepeth the law, happy is he.” The word “vision” in this verse is talking about the revelation that comes with knowing God’s Word. Without His Word, and without the guidance that comes from His Word, we perish.
There are so many “voices” fighting for our attention today. We live in this Information Age with everyone trying to tell us what to do, how to be, how to act, and what our purpose should be. It is hard to know the truth, isn’t it?
When Steven and I got married, we read so many books and articles about how to have a great marriage, a strong marriage, and a successful marriage. We read authors, we read advice books, we did everything we could to find the “secret” to creating the perfect marriage, and you know what? Every one of those books paled in comparison to the Word of God.
We were looking for the secret to our marriage success, when in reality, it was right in front of us . . . The Word of God was the secret to us creating a powerful marriage. We put away all the self-help books and turned to the Word.
With God’s Word in our hand, we set out to create a marriage mission statement centered on what HE desires for our marriage; not what we desire or what a self-help book tells us we should model or what Pinterest says we should look like. I find more and more that we turn to Amazon Prime and Pinterest before we turn to the Word.
The Mission Statement we created has been a source of life for our marriage. Whenever we seem to get off track, we go back to the mission statement. When we think we should “be like that couple in church”, we go back to the mission statement. When we see something or someone we want to emulate, we go back to the mission statement. If it doesn’t fit what God’s vision is for our marriage, we don’t give it any of our time. It’s very simple.
In this article we are sharing our steps to creating a God-Designed Marriage Mission Statement. We hope that these tips will help you and your spouse to focus your marriage on the Word of God and what He desires for you.
STEP 1: Pray.
I know this seems redundant, but how can you know the voice of God if you never talk to Him. Take time to pray and quiet your hearts and minds to hear the Lord. Pray individually and together and ask the Lord to stir your hearts to create a marriage that He can be proud of.
STEP 2: Set Aside Time.
Set aside time with no distractions to actually do the work of creating your mission statement. Steven and I chose a Friday night at a coffee shop. We made it a date night. We got dressed up, and made a fun night of it.
STEP 3: Be Honest. Be Vulnerable.
Vulnerability is so hard, isn’t it? We only want our best sides to be shown. But when you are with your spouse, it is so important to lay it all out on the table. Be vulnerable. Be honest. Be transparent, and let God do the rest.
STEP 4: Read the Word together.
We decided to start with the Word of God. So together we read these verses and asked two questions for each verse. We both had to answer. We then discussed ways that we want to incorporate these verses into our marriage, and how they can help direct us to be what God wants us to be.
a. Proverbs 29:18
1. What do we want our marriage to look like when we are 80 years old?
2. How does the Word of God guide our marriage?
b. Joshua 24:14-15
1. We both come from different backgrounds, how do we serve the Lord in our marriage?
2. By serving the Lord in our marriage, how will it effect our entire home?
c. Psalm 127:1
1. What does this verse mean for our marriage?
2. Have we let the Lord build our relationship? If so, how can we continue? If not, how can we let go of the reigns and let Him take the lead?
d. 1 Corinthians 13
1. Why did the Lord inspire these verses?
2. Which verse(s) do we struggle with personally?
STEP 5: Make Sure Your Heart is Right
There were a few times as we were answering these questions that we were tempted to blame and point fingers. “You don’t do that.” Or “I wish you would do that more.” The point of this exercise isn’t to focus on what we aren’t doing in our relationships. That isn’t Biblical.
If you are tempted to point out what each other isn’t doing right, re-read 1 Corinthians 13. Love is PATIENT. Love does not boast. It does not keep track of wrongs. Our focus here is creating a marriage based on the Word of God. (Proverbs 29:18) So don’t point fingers at what your spouse isn’t doing or could be doing better. Focus on the positive. Focus on the future. Focus on the mission statement, and not on the past.
STEP 6: Brainstorm.
After we read these Scriptures and opened discussion on our relationship, we began to ask each other questions. These questions helped to guide us, and direct us. We grabbed a piece of paper and began writing our answers; re-writing our answers; and laughing as we went along. (You can download your copy of the workbook we used at the end of this article. These questions are included.)
What is the purpose of your marriage? Is it to be social? To be mission-minded? To be full of romance? To create a large family? These are just examples, of course, but what is the purpose of your marriage? Where do you want to be at 80 years old together?
What are your dreams?
1. What principles or beliefs guide our marriage/relationship and ultimately will help you to accomplish your dreams together? What are your values?
2. Centered on Biblical examples, what role do you play as a husband in this marriage?
3. Centered on Biblical examples, role do you play as a wife in this marriage?
4. What role does God to play in your marriage?
5. If you have kids or are thinking of having children, what values do you hope your marriage emulates to your kids?
Answer this question separately and then come together to share your answers.
1. What are your unique and personal strengths? What do you bring to the table?
2. What are your spouses unique and personal strengths? What does he bring to the table?
3. What are the strengths of you together as a couple?
What goals do you want to accomplish in life together? Maybe you want to go on a big vacation every year, or serve in your church together, or start a non-profit, or just be a good example to your children.
What three things are the most important to you in this marriage? It can be something like trust or honesty, romance or passion, communication or parenting.
You can download all of our Brainstorm questions our Marriage Mission Statement Workbook at the end of this article.
STEP 6: Create your Mission Statement.
Take your answers from the five questions above and draft your mission statement. Keep it simple. The importance here is that your mission statement is something that can be easily understood and contains both of your input. Feel free to draft your own statement using the template in the downloadable workbook at the end of this article. This was our template but feel free to add or remove anything that doesn’t fit in with the vision God gave you for your marriage.
Your Mission Statement may read like this . . .
We, ___________ and ____________, commit to serve the Lord in our marriage by (list your purpose from Question 1.) We believe that these beliefs will help us to accomplish the purpose the Lord placed in our hearts. ______________________ (list your beliefs from Question 2.)
We understand that God gave us different roles to play in our marriage, and each of our individual strengths serve to create a strong marriage. HUSBAND brings __________. (List the strengths of your husband) WIFE brings __________. (List the strengths of your wife) The Lord is the third strand in this marriage, and He is our _______________________. (List the role that Christ has in your marriage). Together, HUSBAND, WIFE, and the Lord we ______________. (List your strengths as a couple with the Lord as your center.)
As we walk this life together, we hope to accomplish ______________. (List the goals you established in question 4.)
With __________, ___________, and ___________ we desire to create a marriage that glorifies the Lord. (List three important factors from Question 5)
STEP 7: Write it Out and Make it visible.
Now that you have your mission statement, print it out and hang it up where you can see it daily.
STEP 8: Revise as Needed.
Life changes and the things that matter most to you today may not matter as much ten years down the road. Revise this mission statement as needed. If you accomplish a major goal of this mission statement, or if you want to add something more to your mission, start at Step 1 and revise as needed.
STEP 9: Pray.
Pray over your mission statement. The enemy wants nothing more than to attack our marriages. So pray that the Lord would be a banner over your relationship and your home. Keep your marriage at the forefront of your prayer life.
STEP 10: Take it further.
Now that you’ve established your overall mission statement, think of specific things that you want to accomplish as a couple. Specifically, what do you want to accomplish in your . . .
Spiritual Life. What do you want your relationship with God to look like as a couple?
Family Life. What do you want to see accomplished in your home life? Children? Family? Siblings? In-Laws?
Physical Life. How are you going to maintain your health together individually and as a couple?
Financial Life. What is important to you in terms of saving, tithing, and becoming debt free? What does your financial life look like and where is it going?
Social Life. How are you going to maintain and develop friendships as a couple?
Work Life. What does your career look like? Is is where you want to be? How will you manage work and family life?
Recreational Life. What is important to you as a couple in terms of down-time, vacations, and hobbies or activities?
Steven and I had an amazing time creating our Marriage Mission Statement. It not only gave us a great date-night, but also helped us to hear each other’s hearts. I found out things about him that I didn’t know and he found out things about me.
It goes back to Proverbs 29:18. What is the vision for your marriage? What does God say about your marriage? And how are you going to accomplish His vision for you both?
I pray that this article has helped you to create a marriage mission statement with your spouse. We would love to hear about your date-night in the comments below. Share your mission statement with us!