What the Church at Philippi can teach us about Relationships.
Relationships are hard, aren’t they?
Whether they’re romantic, work-related, family-related, or friendship-related, they can be complicated and challenging.
To make matters worse, our culture doesn’t exactly prioritize or celebrate deep and meaningful relationships.
In a time when we’re supposed to be more connected than ever, we’re actually more disconnected than any generation before us. We’re overwhelmed with work, hobbies, and the busyness of raising kids, leaving little time to nurture our friendships.
Ours is no longer a “fix what is broken” generation; we’ve become a “throw it away and get a new one” culture.
So, how do we cultivate meaningful relationships?
Have we forgotten how to be in healthy relationships?
Have we become so socially awkward or discouraged that we’ve given up altogether?
If you’ve ever answered “yes” to any of those questions, don’t worry.
There is hope, and it’s found in the Word of God.
The Church at Philippi
The Apostle Paul’s letter to the Philippians gives us profound insight into meaningful relationships. Written during his imprisonment in Rome, Paul’s letter expresses his love and gratitude for the church in Philippi. As the founder of this church, Paul cared deeply for its members, viewing them with a father’s heart. He longed to build them up, nourish their faith, and help them grow closer to Christ.
Philippians 1:1–11 reveals the depth of Paul’s relationship with the Philippian believers and offers practical lessons for us today. In these verses, Paul shows us what it takes to cultivate meaningful relationships rooted in love and service. While we cannot control or force others to change, we can change ourselves. By following Jesus’ example and embracing His teachings, we can become stronger in our relationships and reflect His light and love to those we serve.
Strong Relationships Have a Servant’s Heart.
“Paul and Timothy, servants of Christ Jesus: To all the saints in Christ Jesus who are in Philippi, including the overseers and deacons . . .” —Philippians 1:1
Paul opens his letter by identifying himself and Timothy as “servants of Christ Jesus.” This sets the tone for the entire letter and demonstrates the heart of a true leader—a servant’s heart. Even when addressing the overseers and deacons, Paul emphasizes their role as servants to the church rather than as individuals lording over others.
Later in Philippians 1, Paul speaks of his longing to leave this world and be with Christ, but he recognizes that staying is better for those he serves:
“I am torn between the two. I long to depart and be with Christ — which is far better — but to remain in the flesh is more necessary for your sake.”—Philippians 1:23-24
Paul willingly sacrifices his personal desires for the sake of those he serves. In a world consumed with self-interest, Paul’s example reminds us that relationships thrive when they are led by a servant’s heart. To cultivate meaningful relationships, we must follow Jesus’ example—helping, encouraging, giving to, and blessing those we love.
Strong Relationships are Worth Remembering.
“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.”—Philippians 1:3
Imagine being at a party, and someone waves at you from across the room. They walk over, and you’re suddenly panicking, “What’s their name? I know that face, but I can’t remember their name!” We’ve all been there—it happens when the relationship didn’t leave a significant impact on us.
But what about us?
Are we worthy of remembering?
When we enter someone’s life, do we leave a meaningful impact?
Will our children speak highly of us (Proverbs 31:28)?
Will our coworkers miss us when we leave a job?
Do our spouses speak well of us when we’re not around?
The church at Philippi impacted Paul so much that he thanked God every time he remembered them. What an incredible testament to their relationship!
Let us strive to be people others thank God for. Let us aim to be the kind of person whose presence changes the atmosphere for good. And most importantly, let us live in such a way that when others remember us, they recall Jesus in us.
Strong Relationships are Joy Giving.
More than anything, relationships rooted in Christ bring joy. Paul’s letter to the Philippians is filled with gratitude and joy for his friends. It serves as a reminder that cultivating relationships, while hard work, is worth it. When our relationships reflect Christ’s love, they become a source of joy and encouragement for everyone involved.
Strong Relationships are Steadfast and Consistent.
“ . . . .for your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now,” —Philippians 1:5
I came across a quote recently from a couple married for 55 years. It said, “We stayed together because in our day, when something was broken you fixed it. You didn’t throw it away.”
The church at Philippi embodied this steadfastness and consistency in their relationship with Paul. From the beginning of their fellowship, they stood by his side—through triumphs and trials. Even while Paul was in chains, they supported him, prayed for him, and encouraged him. What a comfort it must have been for Paul to know that this church didn’t abandon him in his hardships but stood in the gap for him.
Now let’s ask ourselves:
Are we steadfast in our relationships, or do we run at the first sign of trouble?
I’ll admit, when Steven and I first started dating, I threatened to break up with him more times than I’d like to admit. Fear and insecurity had a stronghold on me. Thankfully, Steven was patient and steadfast, giving me the space and grace to work through my own struggles. Looking back, I’m so grateful I didn’t let my emotions dictate my decisions. Instead of running, I focused on fixing what was broken within me.
If we want strong relationships, we must learn to be steadfast and consistent—not just in the good times but in the hard times too. Relationships that endure are built on patience, grace, and the commitment to stand by one another, even when it’s difficult. Let’s strive to cultivate relationships like Paul’s with the Philippians—steadfast, unwavering, and rooted in love.
Strong Relationships are Held Close to the Heart.
"So it is right that I should feel as I do about all of you, for you have a special place in my heart.” —Philippians 1:7
Paul’s deep affection for the church at Philippi is evident in this verse. The Amplified Bible adds, “It is right for me to feel this way about you, because [you have me in your heart as] I have you in my heart . . .” Paul’s relationship with the Philippians wasn’t superficial—it was heartfelt, sincere, and life-giving. He held them close to his heart because of their faithfulness, love, and shared mission in the gospel.
The heart is our life source, both physically and spiritually. So, we must ask ourselves: Which relationships do we hold there?
Are you holding onto relationships that have hurt you? Are you clinging to relationships that God removed from your life for a reason? Are you struggling to release relationships that you know are not life-giving, but you just can’t seem to let go?
To cultivate strong, God-centered relationships, we must learn to let go of the ones that no longer belong. It’s not easy, but your heart needs space to nurture the relationships that bring life, joy, and spiritual growth. Let go of what is gone so you can make room for the relationships God has for you—those He wants you to hold close to your heart. These are the relationships that will strengthen your faith, reflect His love, and stand the test of time.
Strong Relationships are Christ-centered.
“. . . all of you share in [His matchless] grace with me.” —Philippians 1:7
I’ve found that my strongest friendships and relationships are the ones where Jesus is at the center. These relationships allow me to share the best part of my life—my faith—with others who can strengthen and encourage me in return. Together, we grow closer to God and to each other.
Paul held the Philippians close to his heart because they shared in the Gospel of grace. They didn’t just hear his teachings—they allowed him to speak into their lives and took his words to heart. Their willingness to grow and strengthen their faith deepened their relationship with Paul and made it unshakable.
When Steven and I first started dating, he was wrestling with faith, questioning the Lord, and trying to reason his way to God instead of opening his heart. Eventually, Steven realized that faith isn’t something you reason your way into—it’s a relationship built on a heart for God. Once he surrendered to Christ, our relationship transformed. Suddenly, we were able to study the Word together, pray together, and talk about Jesus together. It took our relationship to a whole new level.
Having our relationship rooted in Christ has been the greatest blessing. With Jesus as our solid rock, we’ve been able to face life’s storms together, knowing we’re standing on an unshakable foundation. There’s nothing greater than building a relationship where faith is the cornerstone—it strengthens not only our bond but also our walk with God.
Strong Relationships Stand Firm in the Good and the Bad.
"It is right for me to feel this way about you, because [you have me in your heart as] I have you in my heart, since both in my imprisonment and in the defense and confirmation of the good news [regarding salvation], all of you share in [His matchless] grace with me.” —Philippians 1:7
The church at Philippi stood faithfully by Paul’s side in both good times and bad. They were steadfast and consistent, sharing in his affliction through their sympathy, concern, and readiness to help when he called. Their unwavering support wasn’t conditional on circumstances—it was rooted in grace and love.
Strong relationships stand the test. They endure the highs and lows, the mountains and valleys. If a relationship only sticks with you in the good times but disappears when challenges arise, it’s not built to last. These aren’t the relationships that cultivate strength or reflect Christ’s love. If you desire truly strong relationships, surround yourself with people who stand firm with you, regardless of the season.
Strong Relationships are Full of Love.
"“Most important of all, continue to show deep love for each other, for love covers a multitude of sins. And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more . . . ” —Philippians 1:8-9
It almost goes without saying: strong relationships are full of love. The church at Philippi didn’t just love and care for Paul—they loved and cared for each other. Imagine the joy Paul must have felt, knowing that “his children” were united in love and support for one another. Their love was tangible, and it reflected the very heart of the Gospel.
Today, we often see relationships where love seems far from the center. It’s heartbreaking to witness couples or friendships that leave you wondering, “Do they even love each other?” Without love as the foundation, relationships quickly crumble under pressure.
If you want to cultivate strong, meaningful relationships, you must be a person of love. Love isn’t just a feeling—it’s an action, a choice, and a commitment to put others before yourself. When love abounds in your relationships, it creates a bond that endures, strengthens, and reflects the beauty of Christ.
As I read Philippians 1, I found myself longing to cultivate relationships like the one Paul had with the church at Philippi. Their bond was truly beautiful—so much so that Paul wasn’t ashamed to praise it openly. This was a relationship so meaningful to him that he dedicated time to write what has become known as the “Epistle of Joy.” It was a relationship that gave him strength in his darkest moments and filled his heart with gratitude.
By leaning on the example set in this chapter, we can break free from the shallow, disconnected relationships our culture often promotes. Instead, we can develop relationships that are meaningful, life-giving, and Christ-centered—relationships that reflect the love and grace of the Gospel and bring joy to our lives and the lives of those we love. Let us strive to build connections like Paul’s, rooted in faith and overflowing with encouragement, love, and steadfastness.
How do you strengthen your relationships? I’d love to hear in the comments below.
